Monday, November 26, 2007

Golden Posts - New To Sex

Following are actual posts from popular forum

Tjdude on “Ready for Sex at 13”

Michelle, you are way too young for having sex, there are a lot of issues behind sex that a young mind can not see right away. It is not only the pregnancy and STD’s stuff (those are powerful reasons for not having sex, but not the only ones).

There are many other situations that emotionally you’re not prepared to handle. Like when every time you have sex you have to wait with fear until your period arrives, and if it is one day late you are almost crying because you think you are pregnant, or you have to start taking pills every day and some times they make you sick and they cause you head aches and nausea but you can not miss one because you can get pregnant.

Sex is great, I don't deny it, but only if it is properly done, and you guys at such a young age I don't think you are ready yet. But ... there is no reason for you to not became closer, you know, if holding hands is not enough and you feel you want to go one step further, by all means, go ahead, just don't jump in to bed (or the back of the car) so fast. Just wait a little longer and you'll see that it was worth the wait.

Brandye on “Ready for Sex at 13”

The right time and age is different for everyone. Most comments, including my own, on this site are we women feel we started too young. In the developed world, "typical" women have their first true intercourse between 18th and 20th birthdays. This puts you on the very young side. Physically, no problem (assuming no pregnancy and then there are lots of problems in a body that young); psychologically, are you ready to sweat out every period for the next thirty-five years? Are you ready to look your mother in the eye and say, "Mum, I am pregnant?"

There are lots of things to do together with much less risk than intercourse. Too often, your thinking ends up in my office discussing "what can be done."

Brandye on “How Often For Sex?”

Physiologically, a man hits his peak in the late teens. We women seem to hit our peak in our late twenties. There are anthropological studies of primitive societies where several times a day is normal. When younger, I had a few boyfriends that seemed insatiable. You may want to add a little spice to your foreplay. Jack him off a time or two. That slows his response and has some other beneficial side effects: the first ejaculation is usually the largest and most fertile. Also tastes the worst. This is not a contraceptive technique just some insight. With him slowed down a bit, you are more likely to get what you want or need.

If you are sleeping together (literally, not the euphemism) he will likely wake up every morning with an erection and be ready every evening. You may be happy with two or three orgasms a week. I am lucky in that I derive great pleasure from simply having him inside me and feeling his response. In my first cohabitation experience, it was virtually every morning and every night. Sometimes I felt that it was not worth it. And I used "alternate methods." Not as time consuming. Rarely did I simply refuse.

If you are only together with the opportunity a few times a week, you can be certain that he will be ready to go several times. If that is more than you want, you have to talk it out because once introduced to sex the late adolescent or young adult male will never say no. Dating young males (when I was the same age), I established a pattern: one or two times by hand or other body part stimulation, a couple in me (stupidly sometimes into the same condom without withdrawing - not a good idea) and then maybe one oral. Total three to five. Somewhere in there I got the oral or digital stimulation necessary - I rarely reach orgasm through penile thrusting, alone. Very rarely.

On a few occasions, a girlfriend (now my partner) and I would be traveling together with our dates. To save money we often shared a hotel room with two double beds. We made some attempt at being discrete after the lights went out but it seemed like we were each into three or so times many evenings.

Certainly, this is not necessary. But the male at that age will find it desirable. You can either accommodate or make it clear that you are not into that. Believe me; it slows considerably in later years.

Once again as TJ and Vette and a few others here emphasize, communication is the key.

Guido on “How Often For Sex?”

I agree with Brandye, mix it up so that he is satisfied, but so that you are not overwhelmed with it ... and communication is key.

I would add one other thing though. At some point you might feel "enough already, I am giving him everything I feel comfortable with ... and he still wants more". If that happens you should not feel bad about telling him that; after all, it's only good if you are BOTH enjoying it!

Guess what he will do? (You might even want to suggest this to him). He will "fill in the gaps" by doing what he did before he met you ... by masturbating!

It is not your responsibility to satisfy anyone else’s unquenchable appetite. If you give him what you can (and want to) and it is not enough, it is HIS responsibility to take care of it, not yours.

The sex (while not as frequent) is a whole lot better when the other person "wants to" instead of feels like "has to".

If you ask me how I know this, it is because I am like your b/f (no such thing as "enough"), and it took me a number of years (and an unhappy relationship) to figure this out.

ItalStall on “How Often For Sex?”

First off ... I agree with Guido totally, including this quoted bit. I would like to present a related slant on this topic though, regarding (I suspect) mostly longer term relationships.

I know many women and men who "jokingly" say that after being in a relationship a while they lose interest in the sex and can't be bothered with (and try to avoid) their partner's advances. Amazingly (to me), most are then all surprised and hurt when their partner strays ... duh!

We (males and females) should try and distinguish between what is a reasonable or unreasonable compromise between differing sex-drives, and neither party should feel cut-off or overwhelmed. If you are asking somebody to be monogamous to you (and you to them), then the least you can (both) do is not abuse that promise by cutting them off and then demanding fidelity.

The argument re being overwhelmed has already been well put by Guido. On the other hand, if you cut-off your partner unreasonably, don't be surprised (and just mad at THEM) if his/her response is to seek satisfaction elsewhere!

As ever, common sense, variety (keeping things fresh), communication and truly caring for each other should stop this from ever happening, but time passing has a way of making us all complacent ...

Andy on “Satisfying Her”

The brain is the biggest sex organ. All I mean by that is that you could be doing everything right, physically, but unless you get her mind into it as well, you won't see a result. I'm speaking from personal experiences here, because about half the time, I can't have orgasms with my girlfriend because my brain wanders and thinks about other things, and then I just end up worrying about whether or not I can have an orgasm at all.

My suggestion to you would be to romance your girlfriend. Make love to her, rather than just have sex or fool around. Once you are enthused and excited about making love, it will rub off on her and she'll be able to relax and enjoy it a lot more. (Trust me, that will also make it much better for you.)

Brandye on “Erratic Periods”

During puberty and up to 17 or 18 periods are notoriously erratic. I spent most of my teen years soaking spotted drawers - came when it should; did not when it should. As long as the period is erratic, so is ovulation. This is a major reason for "contraceptive failure" in teen women.

A home pregnancy test will not be effective until a week after conception and that is too late for the morning after pill. From the time we become sexually active until menopause, we sweat out every period. With maturity comes the ability to handle that stress but it remains a fact of female life. Younger teens can lose a great deal of teen aged joy worrying about whether or not it will come. Is it worth it? I decided "no" and after starting sex too young, took a couple year break. Actually, I remained active but with a girl friend. Pregnancy is rare in that situation! (Smirk).

We women tend not to share the monthly worries unless we are late and I doubt that any man can understand the fact that for our entire lives, every time we pee, we check our bloomers for what may (or may not) be there.

Sex is great but carries risks and responsibilities. Think it through before, not after, you begin. And do not be afraid to rethink every single month.

Brandye on “Oral Sex”

No woman ever forgets the first mouthful. It is not pleasant tasting or feeling. The first time I gagged coughed and generally made a fool of myself. It still tastes bad but I have learned over the years to enjoy it.

One, jack him off and take him however a few times. The first ejaculate of the days is the largest and worst tasting. Then while you are performing, rest a finger behind his scrotum. You will feel the first contraction there. You will not be surprised. There is nothing wrong with bringing him off and taking the penis out of your mouth at the last minute. Get used to what is happening. When you feel him coming press the back of your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Women think the taste is what makes them gag. Actually, the first shot hitting the back of your throat and stimulating the gag reflex is what does it.

I do not want to discourage you; oral should be part of all our skills. But it takes some getting used to. As for his enjoying, anything you do will be great and you can improve on it from there.

Remember, any disease that can be passed on genitally can also be passed on orally. We had quite a discussion the last few weeks on blowjobs with condoms. Protect yourself.

Guido on “Maintaining an Erection”

Believe it or not, ALL guys have trouble getting, or maintaining, an erection at some time or another.

Occasionally it is a medical problem. However, in the vast majority of cases it is just either nervousness, too much to drink, tiredness, medication or some other temporary perfectly normal reaction.

The first time or two is especially stressful and it is easy for your mind to play tricks on your equipment. The LAST thing to do is worry about it; don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The way to do this is to have enjoyment as the goal, instead of orgasm. Let orgasm be the NICE SURPRISE. Just enjoy what she is doing to you and the rest will (this time or another) take care of the rest.

Many women enjoy sex without having an orgasm every time, and no-one thinks that strange! Guys are trained to think "cum". This puts un-necessary strain on you - the LAST thing you need!

Just enjoy - it will take care of itself - honest!

Brandye on “Sexuality – Gay, Straight or Bi?”

I have been wrestling with that for over twenty years. I am actively bisexual and so is my partner, also a bi- woman. I have been through stages of knowing I am straight and stages of being militantly lesbian. Certainly your experience of non-loving sex with that jerk a few years ago has affected you. So have many other things.

We women have a wonderful capacity of response to human beings whether man or woman. Where our preferences come from has been debated forever. It will be debated long after we are gone.

There has been shown to be genetic cause for male homosexuality and the same may be true for lesbians. That has not yet been identified. You are on a long search. You can carry a lot of baggage on that search or you can accept what you find along the way. My g/f was married and has a teenaged son; I have had live in arrangements with two men for lengthy periods. The second was leading to marriage. Death intervened.

We love one another; we are happy being with one another. We each enjoy the feeling of a penis in us from time to time. What caused this? What are the implications? Do our families attribute our relationship to being hurt in relationships with males? We do not know. We neither flaunt nor hide our relationship. As long as her son is home, we live a few hundred meters apart. What will happen when he leaves? What happens if either of us falls in love with a man?

We have rules that govern our present heterosexual contacts and we have absolute trust that they are being followed. If that trust were broken...?

There is no answer to your question. You can only trust yourself recognizing that either bi- or lesbian; you are "different" and present an unknown threat to those around you.

Girlygirl on “Fingering”

I couldn't fit a tampon in when I was a virgin, and most men's fingers are wider than tampons. She may, like me, have a tough hymen, but there are some things you can do to make it easier. Putting some lube on your finger will help it slide in more easily. Trim your nails beforehand; long nails can be a problem even for non-virgins. Most importantly, make sure she is sexually aroused before you try to finger her, as this will make her vagina looser and provide natural lubrication.

Brandye on “Breast Size”

Breast development in women continues to about age 18. After that pregnancy and great changes in weight are the only real reasons for change. There are, of course, monthly variations with some women having to go up a full band and cup size right before their periods.

There are also ethnic differences. Lingerie retailers have compiled lists of what sizes. Models and colors sell best in different locations. The great overweight problem in both Europe and North America makes it difficult to determine.

And what is large is strictly in the mind of the people involved. I am quite pleased with my rather typical development of 34B/C - with some variation. Not too much to carry around but enough to be noticeable.

Guido on “Female Odor”

Virtually all body parts have *some* odor ... whether it is unpleasant or not depends mostly (though not entirely) on personal hygiene.

You have probably encountered a bit of "male humor" about female anatomy ... ignore it.

In fact, natural aromas and pheromones given off by the body are two of the most unacknowledged, yet powerful, natural aphrodisiacs in existence!

Brandye on “Female Odor”

There have been many posts here lately regarding odor and taste of the female genitals. This has included the age old discussion of smelling like fish.

All body fluids exposed to the air (oxygen) putrefy and become smelly. Because of our construction, we women constantly have some low level of drainage. Inside the vagina, it is not exposed to the air. As it moves outside the labia menora, it is subject to putrefying.

Some of us have some deposit in our pants every day. Slight but detectable. Some appear to have none but on close inspection, it is there. Some have greater amounts and actually do (should) change during the day. Normal cleansing at least twice a day and before intimate contact should keep this under control. If she washes at least morning and night and does a touch up when "getting ready" and the smell is still overpowering, there is something in that discharge. Usually it is enterobacteria. They belong in the intestine but sometimes migrate and set up housekeeping in the vagina. It is a low level infection and sometimes is only detectable by the smell. There are medicated douche preparations and anti-bacterial jellies that can treat this. It usually takes several days and a condom should be used until both of you are sure it is cleared up. Sometimes the man with a urethritis will pass it into the vagina and then you keep passing this back and forth.

We women also carry away with us the results of sex. Semen, which is a bit aromatic in its immediately released state, gets really raunchy after a few hours. Any of us who are taking it in will be discharging it for at least a few hours. Much of it is absorbed through the vaginal wall but much of it drains out after it liquefies. The morning after aroma with the mixture of female juices and semen is something men rarely encounter but can be quite strong. This is a primary reason for many women douching after sex. I do not advocate that, medically, but sometimes do if I will be unable to touch up in a few hours. One of my affairs often ends in the morning and I drive a few hours home. Not nice when I arrive.

If I have intercourse in the morning, I always carry extra panties and find a way to freshen up during the day. Working in a clinic, that is easy. Most women can figure it out for themselves.

OK, we all, men and women, smell. Or at least our juices do. If it is truly offensive, there is usually something adding to it. More women overdo the clean part, I suspect.

ItalStall on “Female Puberty”

The stages of puberty for a woman are basically as follows:

1 Age Range: Usually 8-11

In Stage 1 there are no outside signs of development, but a girl's ovaries are enlarging and hormone production is beginning.

2 Age Range: Usually 8-14. Average: 11-12

The first sign is typically the beginning of breast growth, including "breast buds." A girl may also grow considerable height and weight. The first signs of pubic hair start out fine and straight, rather than curly.

3 Age Range: Usually 9-15. Average: 12-13

Breast growth continues, and pubic hair coarsens and becomes darker, but there still isn't a lot of it. Your body is still growing, and your vagina is enlarging and may begin to produce a clear or whitish discharge, which is a normal self-cleansing process. Some girls get their first menstrual periods late in this stage.

4 Age Range: Usually 10-16. Average: 13-14

Pubic hair growth takes on the triangular shape of adulthood, but doesn't quite cover the entire area. Underarm hair is likely to appear in this stage, as is menarche. Ovulation (release of egg cells) begins in some girls, but typically not in a regular monthly routine until Stage 5.

5 Age Range: Usually 12-19. Average: 15

This is the final stage of development, when a girl is physically an adult. Breast and pubic hair growth are complete, and your full height is usually attained by this point. Menstrual periods are well established, and ovulation occurs monthly.

Brandye on “Birth Control for Newbies to Sex”

The section of the site on birth control is quite good but may be misleading to the inexperienced. I have had patients become pregnant using every method described here. “I can’t be pregnant, I have been ,,,,,,,” “.. on the pill,” “…certain he pulled out in time,” “….watching the calendar.” There is no perfect form of birth control and the more sophisticated forms are not applicable to the young, still forming body.

The “natural” approaches are good for many women. For teenagers, they are questionable, at best. For several years (3 to 5) after the period begins most women are irregular in both menstruation (obvious) and ovulation (hidden). This is because it takes the body several years to regulate its own hormonal levels. During this time there can be multiple ovulation during one cycle; ovulation can be at unpredictable times; pregnancy can even occur during menstruation. The natural approaches on the table are Billings, Body Temperature, Rhythm, Sympto-Thermal and withdrawal.

Withdrawal is as old as history and, in masses, does reduce the birth rate. In individual cases, it is not dependable. If sperm remain in the male urethra from an earlier ejaculation, they are being delivered right into the vagina. If over eager sperm precede the actual ejaculation, they go the same place. The male needs the discipline to pull when he most wants to push. A satisfying event for both partners is feeling the ejaculation while deep in the vagina. Any bare penis in an unprotected vagina is a prescription for eventual pregnancy.

The others are all variations on an ancient theme: no intercourse during the fertile period of the cycle. Sympto-Thermal, Body Temperature and Billings are, in order, more sophisticated and more effective than simply watching the date. For a 30 year old couple who wish natural intercourse and will tolerate waiting periods, these approaches are fine. For teenagers “getting it when they can” this can lead to taking chances. These approaches depend upon discipline, training and adhering absolutely to what the system tells you. And the systems do not take into account the unpredictability of the adolescent fertility cycle

The figures cited for “clinical studies” have been achieved in very limited tests with very high control. The Billings method, especially, can be effective but depends on a focused bit of medical knowledge and application that most of the population will ever learn. It is most effective with a partner who knows how to conduct the observation of the mucous

With the mechanical and chemical techniques, the table points out that there is a practical success rate lower than the theoretical success rate. For these natural methods, that practical rate may be as low as 50%. This should be stated. This is a level of risk that should not be taken by teens whose lives will be knocked into a cocked hat by a surprise pregnancy.

Shorty43 on “Mentioning Sex for the First Time”

Well, it is something important to mention at some point. I think the way you bring it up really depends on how far you've gone. I never talked about sex with my boyfriend, not once, and we were both OK with that. We started out as friends and then one night I fell asleep with him watching a movie, and it happened over and over. Then I went home with him for a weekend, a well we fell asleep in the same bed again and that's when things took off and we started playing around. About 2 months later we both looked at each other and just knew that was it.

I guess if I were you, I'd be upfront about sex, I wouldn't try to casually slip it into a conversation or anything. Do you know anything about how she feels about sex? Like, what is her reaction if you two are watching a movie and two people start to have sex? I think the way you approach her is going to be very much based on your girlfriend's personality.

Also, I know you guys have been together for a while now, but she is a few years younger than you, so before you venture into a sexual relationship make sure that you really do love her. Tell her you love her and mean it, kiss her, do things you know she likes, and something sweet on Valentine's Day. If she trusts you and knows that you are truly in love with her you bringing having sex should not cause stress.

Xx22xx on “Mentioning Sex for the First Time”

If you're mentioning sex, or bringing it up for that matter, there's NO reason at all to get upset. You can't not talk about it, that just won’t work. If you can't mention it, then you can't talk about it, then you can't get upset because you've never talked about've got to start somewhere.

If she's not ready to talk about it, accept that and just tell her to say something when she is. She's got to be ready for it in more than one mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever. I don't suggest doing it on Valentine’s Day, and if you change the way you're acting, and then talk about sex, she's going to see right through that and think that you're acting that way because you want sex. And I'm sure that's not true.

You also need to not only discuss sex, but what kind of birth control(s) you will use and consider what is practical and available to you. Don't forget to make sure you know how to use it.

In my opinion, I don't think you need to be in love to have sex. I'm not saying that you are, but sometimes that's what people think. It should be with someone you care deeply about.

Giudo on “Semen Production & Consistency”

Ejaculate remains in the sexual organs system for some time after sex, so you may lose a little more following sex.

Also, young males especially (assuming that you are) are veritable sperm machines, so your body will be in full production. Excess amounts may seep out or be lost in "wet dreams".

With regard to sperm consistency and texture. There are a few reasons why semen might have a different consistency, usually revolving around diet, exercise, or tightness of clothing around the genitals (tight pants or briefs). Exercising and wearing tight clothing can increase the heat of the scrotum, changing sperm motility and potentially, semen consistency as well.

All semen is initially relatively thick, and liquefies within about 20 minutes of ejaculation. The process of liquefying helps release the sperm to begin their journey toward an egg.

If you are also experiencing a discharge or pain with urination then it would advisable to see a doctor and be tested for infections of the urinary tract. However, changes in semen consistency alone are not considered abnormal or dangerous and this condition is probably natural. If you continue to be concerned, see a physician for a mind-easing check up.

26swvm on “Shaving Male Pubic Hair”

I have the same problem with hair on my unit. At first I wanted to get rid of it just to see what it felt like. Let's just say you won't want to go back to hairy again. I use a Bic shaver about every other time I take a bath. I highly suggest using a bath over a shower to do this, you're going to want to see your unit in a good light.

Fill the bath at a lower than normal water level, take your usual bath, then use a cream or body lotion on the area and thrust your pelvis up and out of the water. Let the unit hang towards your chest for shaving the underneath. Keep your unit limp.

I suggest shaving from the bottom up (scrotum to head) for the underneath, making it easier for your arms and to see. For the top just make sure you shave in straight strokes along the length. Make sure you use your other hand to keep the skin taught and wrinkle free. Also make sure that your shaver never moves sideways on your skin. If you do both of these carefully, you'll get a fine shave and no cuts.

?wiseman? on “Penis Size”

To begin with, you have what you have and there's nothing you can really do about it. If you're measurements are correct, you're of average to above average length and most of the females in this forum prefer their men in this range.

Your girlfriend's insensitivity is frightening and would lead me to believe that she may have some insecurities about her own body. One thought, is it at all possible that she's given your penis a "pet name" and you're interpreting it as an insult? Or has she come right out and accused you of being too small for her.

If that's the case, I wouldn't take too much flack from her before I would simply reply that if she didn't appreciate her "toy" a little more, you'll take it home and give it to someone else to play with.

Brandye on “Oral Sex”

You indicate nothing about age and, yes, that matters. The idea of taking a penis into our mouths takes some getting used to. Foreplay is more than just that. Many of us became expert at handjobs at an early age (no risk of pregnancy). While eventually many, probably most, women come to grips giving oral sex, some never do. If she has had a bad experience, she will hesitate to repeat it. Many young women have the perception that "getting in" is the best thing they can do for you.

After you eat her, ask her to do the same for you. She may or she may not. If not, you have something to talk about. She may not consider it clean or safe or she may simply think it tastes terrible. I think it tastes terrible but has other benefits that make it worthwhile for me to do. Perhaps jacking you off and seeing what goes on will be helpful; perhaps blowing you with a condom.

You are posting on the teen part and I assume that even if experienced, either of you may have a bit to learn. Be patient

Brandye on “Lubrication”

When you insert a penis into a vagina, it rolls the labia inside. If there is good lubrication you continue to slide in. If not, then there is a drag that will pull the penis skin tight and it would feel like you hit bottom.

Even lubricated condoms are not always enough and dry latex condoms can really be a problem. Latex is quite abrasive at a microscopic level. The plastic condoms are not.

Often during "bare" intercourse, the penis does not slide right in. Rather, one has to back off a bit and then push again. This is drawing lubrication from inside up to where it is needed.

Use lubricated condoms and I always recommend an applicator full of vaginal jelly inside first. Safer and gives plenty of lube.

ItalStall on “Male Puberty”

For boys puberty begins at an average age of 11 ½ or 12 years. The first sign is an increase in the size of the testicles. This is followed a few months later by the growth of pubic hair.

Puberty continues with an increase in the size of the testicles and penis and continued growth of pubic hair and underarm hair. Physical growth usually begins with an enlargement of the hands and feet and is later followed by growth in the arms, legs, trunk and chest.

Other changes include a deepening of the voice, an increase in muscle mass, and the ability to get erections and ejaculate. Some boys experience breast development. Boys undergo their peak growth spurt about 2-3 years later than girls.

As with overall body development, the timing and rate of penis growth can vary greatly from one individual to another, but will usually be in line with overall development.

Stephnaie083099 on “getting Her More Interested”

communication is a big part in a relationship, if you don’t have that then what do you have. You really need to talk to her, she is probably just scared or just doesn’t know what to do.

When I was new to sex, I was almost the same way, I didn’t know what to do, maybe you can tell her what you like and dislike so that when she does do something, she feels more confident in satisfying you because you told her what you like.

Just give it some time, she is just nervous.

Brandye on “The Hymen”

The hymen is an annular (circular) tissue around the edges of the vaginal entrance. It wears away or tears. Broken is a popular but inaccurate term for it.

In the modern world, many women have worn it away or torn it long before they attempt sex. Using tampons, masturbating, active sport, all help to tear it. For many, myself included, the first sex act has no pain not difficulty. In some women, with a rather tough hymen, there may be some incomplete tearing and it takes a few times. In unusual cases, the hymen needs to be slit. It takes ten seconds, is almost painless and solves the problem.

Tjdude on “Perfect First Time”

hmm, well, I guess any condom will be good, but my advice is that you should try those extra thin ones, because if you are not used to them, you won't feel a thing. Practice how to put them on until you do it like an expert, because it can kill the mood if you don't know how to do it, and you want to do it fast. I even recommend that you masturbate some times with the condom on, that way you'll know how to deal with it.

Remember to put some lube on the tip of your penis before putting the condom on and some more after, you'll need plenty of it, since it is the first time for both of you. Remember, don't go for the kill right away, you need lots and lots of foreplay, and then some more, try oral sex, most women really enjoy it (be really gentle down there).

And don't think too much about what will happen "when her cherry is popped", all women are different, if you read some of the posts in this forum you will find that for some women the first time was a great experience with no pain or bleeding at all while for some others it was a little less enjoyable experience.

DemonButtercup on “Perfect First Time”

TJ had some good points, only thing I might say is that he suggested a real thin condom or u wont feel anything this might be better for more experienced guys but if its your first time and u don’t want to finish too early then maybe a regular condom might be better to desensitize the area so that u just don’t cum right off.

like he also said its different for different girls... just make sure she is relaxed a lot of foreplay can help this also oral on her can help her relax and get her natural lubes going so that insertion is a lot easier.. Just take it slow and it should work out fine

Porphyriassong on “Perfect First Time”

My boyfriend and I had the wonderful opportunity of getting a hotel room for the entire weekend. He also got tips from a mutual friend of ours and it really worked.

1. Get her really excited, foreplay, oral, etc. Make sure she wants you and she's relaxed and open. She has to be thoroughly wet and totally wanting you.

2. Finger her first, use one, then two, then three then four so she's open and it will minimize pain in the actual act, maybe even break the hymen beforehand.

3. Go in slow and use a condom. One of you has to hold her open, and the other has to guide you in. Use the missionary position since it's the simplest and most common. You won't last long at all, no matter how you can last with a blow job or masturbation or whatever. You'll go quick.

4. Don't wait too long to try it again, 20 or more minutes is good so you can rest and build up. This time, have her on top. You'll last longer this way and you might not even be able to cum. This is what happened with us.

5. Have fun and if it doesn't go smoothly the first time don't give up!

Guido on Erection Problems

Far more likely is nerves and lack of experience. Most guys have some nervousness the first time or two, so don't worry.

The best advice (which you will see repeated many times by others on this Board), is take your time - don't just rush in, get to know each other's bodies without worrying about penetration, lots of foreplay & lubrication before you DO attempt penetration, and let her guide you in when she is ready!

Make sure the big head rules the little head, by relaxing the big head first using the above tips - the little head will then follow!

SammyMouse on “Being Nauseous”

Are you both new to sex? Are you the first person she has slept with?

When I first started having sex I used to feel really nauseas afterwards, I never went to the doctors, it went away.

I just put it down to all the emotions and hormones racing around when you first start having sex.

I'm 18 now, and first had sex when I was 15 and when I first had sex with my current man I felt it too, I think its nerves, hormones and the feeling of wanting to do it right for the man.

Don’t worry bout it. if it carries on for a while and you both get really worried then sure go see your doc, but I don’t think there is anything they can do, apart from tell u to stop having sex, which is no fun!

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