Q. I am a male in my late forties and am in a relationship with a woman of 30. I think our sex life is great but I am no longer able to become erect without direct stimulation, such as touching my penis by myself or my partner. I think this is normal for a man my age, but my girlfriend says this is adversely affecting our sex life as she is taking this as a personal insult.
HELP! sign me Aging Al
My compliments to you for being aware of this normal aging process! Between the ages of 40-60yrs men start to lose their ability to have psychogenic erections. The age varies with each man as does the stimuli that produces psychogenic erections. A whiff of their partner's cologne or a picture of a pretty girl was probably enough to trigger an erection in younger days.. but not any longer.
The solution is a simple one... your partner must now include foreplay for you, the same way you have used it to benefit her. Since this process does not have a medical name, your partner may not be aware of it's normal progression. She may even be feeling as though you are no longer attracted to her. Take time to explain what is happening to your body... and together you can explore the wonders of foreplay... foreplay is often as good or better than the main event!