Sunday, December 9, 2007

Q & A: I can have orgasms alone but I cant have them with my partner

Q. I know there are women who are non-orgasmic but that is not my problem. I can have orgasms alone but I cant have them with my partner. Whats wrong with me? Is there anything I can do?


Dear Shelly,

This problem's solutions run the gamut from the easiest which would be prolonging foreplay, to the more complex, which would require therapy.

Usually, the answer is somewhere in between.

Most often the answer lies in learning to relax with your partner and teaching him what you already know about your body. Since you know you are orgasmic, you should find comfort in that fact and make mental notes about the things that turn you on the most including fantasies, nipple stimulation, clitoral stimulation etc.

You can make this a very erotic learning experience for your lover. Since most men are very visual, your partner will most likely enjoy watching a demonstration of your masturbation techniques. You may decide you want him to be a totally passive partner or you may, after a while, choose to guide his hand in the movements you enjoy the most.

Don't be disappointed if the first time he tries these new techniques on his own, you do not have an orgasm. With your guidance he will eventually learn what you want and need. Don't be afraid to repeat the training sessions. I'm confident he will be willing to have as many of these highly erotic teachings as necessary.

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