Q. I am confused. I used to be able to get an erection just by thinking about sex, but now I cant. I am a 50 year old male with a gorgeous wife of 5 years. I still want and desire her but it seems my penis has other thoughts... Whats going on?
The erections you referred to are called psychogenic erections. From the start of puberty to middle age, males acquire psychogenic erections from looking at pictures, reading erotic materials or just thinking about sexual turn ons.
As a man grows older these erections become less firm and happen less often. Eventually they stop all together. Be assured this is not the end of your sex life!
You will need to make some minor adjustments and so will your partner. If your wife used your erection as a sign of your desire to be with her sexually, you will need to express your sexual desire physically or verbally.
Or if you are not uncomfortable touching yourself in front of her, you can masturbate until you are erect.
Some women are uncomfortable touching their partner if he does not have an erection. Dont be afraid to guide her hand to your flaccid penis to "show" her what you want and need. Fellatio seems to work extremely well in producing good solid erections also, but if your wife has never enjoyed performing orally on you, I doubt she will suddenly start now.
You might suggest she try licking and kissing the shaft and head of your penis without actually taking it into her mouth. Most women who shy away from fellatio are afraid of choking or gagging if you ejaculate in their mouths. This might be a less troubling solution for her.
Most importantly, discuss the changes you are experiencing. Let your wife know you desire her as much as you ever did and show her in your daily life.