Monday, December 10, 2007

Q & A: I want to try anal sex with my wife

Q. I want to try anal sex with my wife and she turns it down persistently. Is there any way to possibly persuade her to try it. All I am asking is for her to try it, nothing more. She hates her butt, and this might have something to do with all of this, but we often have sex with her face down on bottom with her butt in plain view. She also lets me kiss all over it (now) and she even performs some anal routines on me (without provocation) and ENJOYS it! This somehow doesn't seem fair. Also, some tips and/or suggestions would also benefit.

No Butts

Dear No Butts:

There are many taboos about anal sex and some are hard to overcome. The anal canal is teeming with nerve endings that afford wonderful sensations to those that indulge, but not everyone is willing to try it.

I'm surprised your wife will engage in anal activity with you while not permitting you to try it with her. Could it be she is afraid of the size of your penis compared to a finger? Or could there be a medical reason for her shyness such as hemorrhoids? You will need to talk to her about this in a relaxed comfortable environment... not while engaging in a sexual activity.

If it is fear of size or pain, you might start out with a small rubber dildo and see if she finds she enjoys the stimulation. Remember to use a good water based lubricant such as Astroglide or Slippery Stuff. Vasoline does not wash off easily so it is not recommended for anal sex. You should allow your wife to gently push against whatever object you decide to use, while you apply steady pressure. This way she controls the speed and degree of penetration. Also some people are extremely concerned with the cleanliness aspect of anal sex... she may want to have advanced notice of your intent before engaging. Enemas are not an uncommon preparation.

If you find that you are unable to discuss the subject easily, there are many books that touch on the subject and a few of my educational videos do also. You might consider watching one of those together which will afford you the opportunity to discuss different activities that are turn-ons for both of you.

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