Q. My husband and I have been together for over 18 years and we have an amazing sex life. We love to explore and try new things. The only thing we haven't tried is anal sex. I've always been a little bit nervous about trying anal. Lately, I've been contemplating it more because I'm curious. And it's sort of exciting, trying something that we haven't done before. Does anal sex cause problems later on? Will I have control over my movements as I do now? Will it affect my tissues in any negative ways?
Thanking you in advance,
Dear Dee Anne:
First of all, congratulations on such a long and pleasurable partnership—may you be an inspiration to couples everywhere! Your questions about negative side effects from anal sex are very common ones. Let me assure you that if you do it right—go slow, have lots of warm up, use plenty of lubrication, and start out with something small—anal sex is not going to cause you any problems later in life. Being able to take something in your ass requires relaxation of the sphincter muscles, and like any other form of exercise, the more you use those muscles, the better shape they will be in. No, you will not lose control of your bowels; in fact, you may even have better bowel control once you begin getting fucked in the ass since you'll be more in touch with that area of your body and more aware of your muscle control. The tissue of the rectum is quite sensitive and delicate and does take extra care; however, as long as you don't rush penetration, as long as you listen to your body and stop if it hurts, you will not damage the tissue in any way. Anal sex can be a healthy, positive, pleasurable part of your erotic life. Take it one step at a time!