Q. I just wanted to know if a woman actually gets any pleasure out of anal sex or is it just the guy? I've buttfucked some women who like it but others think it's absolutely disgusting.
I am always slightly surprised by this question when I get it, and my gut response is: do people think that I have devoted my life to anal sex just for my health? Of course it's pleasurable for me; why would I do it, write about it, talk about it so much if it didn't bring me mind-blowing orgasms? The myth that women don't enjoy receiving anal sex and that they just do it to please their partners is particularly prevalent among heterosexuals. Often, when we do hear about women having anal sex, the story goes something like this: the long-term boyfriend begged and begged and finally his girlfriend gave in to his demands. Her boyfriend was pleased, but she didn't enjoy herself one bit. We never hear stories about women who crave and enjoy anal play or women who initiate anal sex. Author Susan Crain Bakos said, "Buttfucking is seen as the ultimate male sexual fantasy. We, as a culture, don't understand how much women can like taking it up the ass." She's right: there are plenty of women who love buttfucking.
From a purely physical standpoint, the anus, anal canal, and rectum are wonderfully erogenous zones, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration. At the right angle, many women find that you can indirectly stimulate the G-spot (the spongy tissue around the urethra located on the front wall of the vagina) through anal penetration. G-spot stimulation feels great and even makes some women orgasm. As I say in the introduction to my book on anal sex, "The first time someone put their finger in my butt, I almost went crazy from the pleasure. The sensations I experienced were so intense, incredible, and heavenly, that it was nearly mind-blowing. I felt high from the experience, and I couldn't wait to do it again. The first time I put my finger in someone else's butt, the results were just as fabulous—I felt entrusted with my partner's deepest vulnerabilities, in awe of the ecstatic pleasure I could give. Each time I could take a little more and give a little more, the more sexually alive and powerful I felt. As I incorporated anal eroticism into my sex life, my sex life became better and better. The sex got hotter, my partners extra adventurous, my orgasms fierce and explosive. The physical sensations were undeniably some of the best I'd ever felt in my life. I confess too that beyond the deep body gratification, the naughtiness of it all really turned me on." When you add the emotional aspects of anal sex—trust, tasting the forbidden, surrender, submission—to the physical sensations, you've got a very powerful sexual experience.